A grownup is a child with layers on. ~Woody Harrelson
Lately I have become more aware of the time-imposed layers that color our view of reality. It seems that we add more filters, templates and layers as we get older. At the core lies our most pure and innocent experience of reality. At the center lies our inner child. It apparently doesn't disappear, but just gets covered over and sealed off by our psychic armor. The armor is often necessary to protect that vulnerable and most tender being at our core.
How can we reclaim that inner child? You might think this is a silly or even inappropriate endeavor. After all, we have bills to pay, children to care for, careers to advance, and other adult responsibilities. However, how are we to have more healing and understanding in our relationships, communities and world? I think reclaiming the child is a start.
We have to do some mining. We must time travel a bit, back to our past, and remember where we started. What were our hopes? Where were our hurts and disappointments? What have we feared? This can also be applied to our more recent past. Either way, by time traveling, we start to see where we have built our armor, and for what reasons. Therapy is a great place to do some time traveling. After all, we need someone to guide us toward these vulnerable places, because we will not likely go there alone.
The gift of this mining is pure gold. If we are willing to travel back and really feel our past hurts, we may eventually find that pure inner child we have lost over time. The fresh eyes we regain are worth the difficult journey. After all, it's easier to feel alive, free and loving if we are not wearing 20 pounds of psychic armor.
What keeps us from the freedom of seeing the world as a child? What have we piled on top? Status, belief systems, defensiveness, emotional distance, ambition, perfection projects, resentment, and the list goes on.
How can we let go of this armor? In addition to therapy, I find spirituality and mind/body practices help. Most religious and spiritual practices have an element of letting go. Whether you surrender to a higher power, meditate, or both, you are giving yourself to the process of undoing.
If God is a loving and all-knowing God, than we don't have to be afraid to open up fully to him. After all, he already knows what is deep in our minds and hearts. By opening up and surrendering our armor before God, we can start to heal and let go. This is not, of course, a simple releasing of everything all at once. However, the more time we spend pouring out our hearts and minds in prayer, the more strength we'll have to live from that place in our daily lives.
Meditation, yoga and certain forms of exercise are also great forms of release. As we focus on the breath and postures, we are centering the mind. Our layers can then be seem more clearly, as our awareness becomes fine-tuned. Yoga has been called meditation in motion. Like other forms of meditation, it focuses the mind, allowing it to settle and then release the unnecessary holding patterns. In addition, yoga helps to release body tension. Some body tension is simply physical holding, however much is also emotional holding. In fact, they are related. In meditation, we increase our awareness of thoughts and feelings without reacting to them. Meditation is a wonderful ally in the process of letting go of that which doesn't serve us. After all, we can't let go of what we don't understand. Both yoga and meditation also illicit the relaxation response. This in itself helps us to let go. After all, if our body/mind is in a constant state of fight/flight (as it often is in our hurried modern world) none of this deeper stuff is possible.
I like the following poem by yogini Danna Faulds:
Lay the Armor Down
Arriving back from the fields
of battle, bruised and bolder,
we are beholden to no one
now. Losing or winning-
the reasons for the war fade
quickly in the memory.
We've forgotten that these
suits of armor are not our
second skins. Smiling, we
set aside the shields and
swords, remove the face
masks, begin to peel away
the layers of weight and
protection. When, finally,
we cast our armor to the
ground, it feels as if our
bodies grow and straighten,
swell and lengthen upward
toward the sun. We run,
light and unencumbered,
and stretch the stiffness
from our joints. Rolling on
the grass we laugh as awkward
limbs remember freedom.
When at last we return to
where we started, without a
second glance we know that
we've outgrown the suits of
armor. We won't fit inside
those too-tight shells again.
Why would we even try?
Peace,
Alli
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
We are spiritual beings having a human experience!
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I've been thinking a lot lately about the true self and the false self, to put it dualistically and perhaps somewhat negatively. Let's start on the dualistic plane, knowing it is inherently flawed. False self, as far as I can understand, is more concerned with self-protection, ambition, separateness, needs, wants, fixing, solving, roles, labels, worthiness, personal dramas, material things, job titles, degrees, etc. It is basically the arena of our egos and keeps us small.
True self, on the other hand, is harder to define. It is more in the arena of the eternal, that which doesn't die, versus the temporal false self. The eternal self is more about surrender and letting go into God or the Present moment. When we surrender our false self, what we find is a new frame of reference. Instead of self-centeredness (false self at the center) we find a new center. That new center could be called God or True Reality or Present moment. It is a dying to the small self so as to move into a more free and expansive relationship with reality. From this place, we no longer fear physical and psychological death so much, as we are no longer identified with them, but with the eternal self.
Ok, this all sounds great and lovely and true. Right? But come on Alli, let's get real! I've got real responsibilities, a job, people to care for, relationships to be tended to and a lot of shopping and cleaning to do. Anyway, the good news is that we can do all those things without being so attached to them. Like Jesus said (to paraphrase), "Be in the world, but not of the world." This is, of course, easier said than done. In fact, we will easily fall back into our self-centeredness, as we are inevitably triggered by life's challenges.
It's more a practice than a immediate transformation. In fact, to set out to destroy our ego, is just another ego trip (as I found out recently). To say: "I'm gonna get rid of all my desires and wants and needs and just live from that higher plane all the time," is a set up for failure. It will probably lead to repressing your human thoughts and feelings. Believe me, I tried it. So, we have to rest into it a bit, and realize it's an ongoing practice. Also, we must know that it is probably almost impossible to get rid of all self-interest, and probably not even wise. God works with us in our human incarnation, so we can't be too hard on ourselves.
We need lots of reminders to stay on this path of dying to the false self. That is why I like the above quote so much. It is a great way to remember where our true center lies. Once we commit ourselves to living at the true center, then our human experience starts to unfold in a new way. We can really enter into our humanness with fresh eyes. This is my hope and my journey. I hope we can help each other along the path to true center.
Peace!
Alli
P.S. "We teach best what we most need to learn." -Richard Bach
I'm as self-centered, if not more so, than most. So, I don't claim to be more enlightened than anyone else. As the above quote implies, we teach what we need to learn. Maybe you don't need this medicine, but I know I do! So take the dose you need, or throw out the whole bottle if you want! Peace out!
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I've been thinking a lot lately about the true self and the false self, to put it dualistically and perhaps somewhat negatively. Let's start on the dualistic plane, knowing it is inherently flawed. False self, as far as I can understand, is more concerned with self-protection, ambition, separateness, needs, wants, fixing, solving, roles, labels, worthiness, personal dramas, material things, job titles, degrees, etc. It is basically the arena of our egos and keeps us small.
True self, on the other hand, is harder to define. It is more in the arena of the eternal, that which doesn't die, versus the temporal false self. The eternal self is more about surrender and letting go into God or the Present moment. When we surrender our false self, what we find is a new frame of reference. Instead of self-centeredness (false self at the center) we find a new center. That new center could be called God or True Reality or Present moment. It is a dying to the small self so as to move into a more free and expansive relationship with reality. From this place, we no longer fear physical and psychological death so much, as we are no longer identified with them, but with the eternal self.
Ok, this all sounds great and lovely and true. Right? But come on Alli, let's get real! I've got real responsibilities, a job, people to care for, relationships to be tended to and a lot of shopping and cleaning to do. Anyway, the good news is that we can do all those things without being so attached to them. Like Jesus said (to paraphrase), "Be in the world, but not of the world." This is, of course, easier said than done. In fact, we will easily fall back into our self-centeredness, as we are inevitably triggered by life's challenges.
It's more a practice than a immediate transformation. In fact, to set out to destroy our ego, is just another ego trip (as I found out recently). To say: "I'm gonna get rid of all my desires and wants and needs and just live from that higher plane all the time," is a set up for failure. It will probably lead to repressing your human thoughts and feelings. Believe me, I tried it. So, we have to rest into it a bit, and realize it's an ongoing practice. Also, we must know that it is probably almost impossible to get rid of all self-interest, and probably not even wise. God works with us in our human incarnation, so we can't be too hard on ourselves.
We need lots of reminders to stay on this path of dying to the false self. That is why I like the above quote so much. It is a great way to remember where our true center lies. Once we commit ourselves to living at the true center, then our human experience starts to unfold in a new way. We can really enter into our humanness with fresh eyes. This is my hope and my journey. I hope we can help each other along the path to true center.
Peace!
Alli
P.S. "We teach best what we most need to learn." -Richard Bach
I'm as self-centered, if not more so, than most. So, I don't claim to be more enlightened than anyone else. As the above quote implies, we teach what we need to learn. Maybe you don't need this medicine, but I know I do! So take the dose you need, or throw out the whole bottle if you want! Peace out!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Where is God* among the pots and pans, and the screaming children???
*=If you don't like the word God, think: Peace, Your Higher Self, Love, Surrender, Meaning
Teresa of Avila said: "God walks among the pots and pans." I don't think Saint Teresa was a stay-at-home mom, but she definitely had her own challenges. Saint Teresa was struggling with the religious culture of her time and the church structure. I struggle with my role and duties as a mother, amongst other things. Teresa expressed hope and faith in this pithy little saying. It gives me hope that I can find God while my son is arguing with me about his math homework, my baby daughter is squirming violently during a diaper change, or my husband is questioning my style of loading the dishwasher yet again. Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, a working parent, or not a parent at all, you surely have moments that try your patience.
Centering activities like yoga, meditation, and prayer are great ways to connect to our still center. Good therapy, an inspiring homily, or an eye-opening experience can help us find more meaning in our struggles and daily living. However, how do we make that connection with our high power, with God, when we are right in the midst of a challenge? Do we pray, take a sacred pause, run to the bathroom and count to 100? What practical suggestions to you have?
It helps me to look at my children through fresh eyes. If I see my wild boy as a tender child in need of love, attention and guidance, something shifts inside. I guess I am now seeing him through God's eyes. So perhaps I need some "God" glasses. Hey, that's not a bad idea. The shift from ego to higher self can be so hard to make in the midst of a child's tantrum or an argument with your spouse. And how about those lesser challenges? The boredom, restlessness or general dissatisfaction. How do we find God in those more subtle situations? Do we pray, see a good movie, read an inspiring book, or just sit with these feelings? Perhaps we just need to accept that a full life is a mixed bag! Then go blog about it. Ha!
If you read this post, thank you! I hope you got something for yourself here. I am writing this blog partly to help myself come to peace and greater understanding about these sorts of issues. By putting it in the public sphere, I hope to hold myself to a higher standard and also share with others. Finally, I hope you share your thoughts with me.
Peace,
All
Teresa of Avila said: "God walks among the pots and pans." I don't think Saint Teresa was a stay-at-home mom, but she definitely had her own challenges. Saint Teresa was struggling with the religious culture of her time and the church structure. I struggle with my role and duties as a mother, amongst other things. Teresa expressed hope and faith in this pithy little saying. It gives me hope that I can find God while my son is arguing with me about his math homework, my baby daughter is squirming violently during a diaper change, or my husband is questioning my style of loading the dishwasher yet again. Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, a working parent, or not a parent at all, you surely have moments that try your patience.
Centering activities like yoga, meditation, and prayer are great ways to connect to our still center. Good therapy, an inspiring homily, or an eye-opening experience can help us find more meaning in our struggles and daily living. However, how do we make that connection with our high power, with God, when we are right in the midst of a challenge? Do we pray, take a sacred pause, run to the bathroom and count to 100? What practical suggestions to you have?
It helps me to look at my children through fresh eyes. If I see my wild boy as a tender child in need of love, attention and guidance, something shifts inside. I guess I am now seeing him through God's eyes. So perhaps I need some "God" glasses. Hey, that's not a bad idea. The shift from ego to higher self can be so hard to make in the midst of a child's tantrum or an argument with your spouse. And how about those lesser challenges? The boredom, restlessness or general dissatisfaction. How do we find God in those more subtle situations? Do we pray, see a good movie, read an inspiring book, or just sit with these feelings? Perhaps we just need to accept that a full life is a mixed bag! Then go blog about it. Ha!
If you read this post, thank you! I hope you got something for yourself here. I am writing this blog partly to help myself come to peace and greater understanding about these sorts of issues. By putting it in the public sphere, I hope to hold myself to a higher standard and also share with others. Finally, I hope you share your thoughts with me.
Peace,
All
Welcome to Mama Mystic.
Hello Friends,
Welcome to a new blog about yoga, spirituality, religion, psychology, domestic life, the arts and much more. Hope you enjoy my musings. Don't forget to comment. That's the best part!
Peace and Light,
Alli
Welcome to a new blog about yoga, spirituality, religion, psychology, domestic life, the arts and much more. Hope you enjoy my musings. Don't forget to comment. That's the best part!
Peace and Light,
Alli
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